Lately, I often hear of many different definitions of real men. Funny, but every time such definition is brought forth, it is brought forth by almost everybody, except for an actual real man. Let’s face it, no one other than a real man can really define what a real man actually is. In order to not sound stupid, I will not provide any kind of definition of a real man. I will, however, tell you from my own experience and let you decide for yourself who a real man actually is.
We do live in a materialistic age, when new gadgets and new things we “must have” become available each and every day. We have plenty of holidays each and every year, when we just give, give and give … and many of us expect to receive just as many of these “gifts” in return from people who “love” us.
I chose to take a look at how many things an actual man may need. I didn’t have to go far; I just took a look at myself and those around me. So what is a “must have” for a man?
First, a man needs a warm place to sleep. Yes, we can rough it for a while if necessary; we can even sleep standing up. However, it is always good to be able to come home to a warm bed. So that is just one thing a man must have, no matter how hard he may appear to be.
Second, a man needs to be loved. I am speaking of an actual love here, not the calling of the male reproductive organ. A man must be loved: in a childhood, a boy (not yet a man) is loved by his parents; later, a man is loved by his wife (I do not consider men, who run from one woman to the next, to be men – if they act as animals, they are animals!); even later, he is loved by his wife and his children; and finally, the man is loved by his wife, his children, grandchildren and so forth. It is a must have. Men, who are not loved, are not happy.
Third, a man must have space to grow and develop. It doesn’t matter what you call it: hobby, passion, aspiration; each man will have a different calling. Some men choose to carve from wood, some choose to build houses, some are good at educating younger generation, etc. A man must have an ability to physically, mentally and spiritually develop.
You may argue with me, but think about it logically. And many will say that being fed daily is a “must have”, but If a man is loved (at least by his wife), and he returns that love, do you really think that man will ever go hungry? Yes, sometimes a man will want to buy something that is just necessary for him (e.g. a set of tools), but if that happens, a man will just go out and buy what he needs (but as long as he is loved, he will always consider all who love him first and himself last).
Now back to the holiday gift giving. I have heard this many times in my life, I’ve said it many times myself: when asked “What would you like for (Christmas, Father’s Day, Birthday … whatever)?” Usually the following answer is heard: “I don’t know, I have everything I need.” In my understanding, as long as a real man has the three things stated above, he will never want or expect any kind of a gift. At the same time, he will be happy to any kind of gift he may receive, no matter if it’s a pair of socks, a razor blade with shaving cream or a new coffee mug. So next time you read another article about “What Real Men Want”, remember this one … and just smile.
Lunch for author
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